black in a multi-culti world, How to pick a guy, Humility is important, just for fun, real living in a virtual world

Friday Frivolities 8 : Slow to speak edition

I haven’t offered a lot of commentary lately as I’m making a point of listening more than “speaking”. Besides reading a lot of books on various topics, I’ve also listened to some interesting talks from those with much more flare and articulation than I can muster. I thought I’d share a few for my Friday Frivolities post.

Our girls are not terribly active on social media, but they do follow young Christian women who, like them, are bucking the cultural trend by saving sex for marriage and chronicling the challenges that come with it. In this TED talk Yvonne Orji, a successful actress and 33-year-old Christian virgin, relates her journey:


Next up, John Crist offers a very funny stand up act about kids these days:

This one sparked lots of thoughts about the difference in how kids are raised with each successive generation. When I was a kid, if we did our chores and homework, we basically ran wild until the street lights came on. Besides dinner conversation, Sundays at Ponderosa, and the occasional day trip to local attractions, our parents felt little compulsion to spend oodles of time watching over and playing with us.

With our older kids,  other neighborhood kids were there to run around with after school. There was a homeschool family whose house was at the corner of our block, and nearly every afternoon around 1 PM, little Luke would knock on our door and ask, “Can the girls come out?” and I would remind him that because they went to school, they wouldn’t be home until 3. After homework, they ran around with those kids as well as other kids from the neighborhood. I spent most of my quality time with them either reading to them or in the kitchen. They played more with their dad, but most of their play time was with other kids.

We still have two younger children and live in the same house as we did with the older three. If Halloween is any indication, there are still plenty of children in this neighborhood. However, if it’s not Halloween, you don’t them. This has increased the burden on parents to provide entertainment and/or play dates.  I think this makes for a generation of less adaptable kids from what I can tell, and that includes mine, despite the fact that they were born to two tough as nails, passionate, opinionated parents.  Moving on…

Pick  all the nits with me in this next one, LOL I may offer my thoughts in the comments but I’d rather first hear what you guys take away from this:


This next one is a TED talk by Sarah Knight that I have wrestled with sharing because she uses less than ladylike language. Very less in fact, but when a friend shared it with me it was a light bulb moment, and here’s why.

One of things that hinders us -or me at least- attending with intention to the things that we truly DO care about, is the fact that we offer too much of our time, energy, and in many cases money, to things that, if we stop to think about them, don’t matter to us in the grand scheme of things.

Some people avoid doing the wrong things by focusing hard on the right things. I wish I was one of those people. I need to first take inventory of what to discard, and with the newly cleared space (mental and emotional as well as physical), the things I want to give full intention to have room to flourish and I have fertile soil in which to grow. In other words, when I wasn’t giving my intention to the wrong things, my mind was free to focus on the true, the lovely, the noble, and things of good report.

Anyway, here’s the TED talk, but be warned that she uses the f-word, and repeatedly so. If you’re inclined to clutch your pearls, please just skip it:

*I know ZERO about Sarah Knight or hew views on anything other than this video, nor do I particularly care.

In the spirit of Sarah Knight’s talk, I also saw this post from a fellow bibliophile about the hazards of conflating social media acquaintance with real connections:

The Only People Who Care About You are Your Family- and if you’re lucky- a Friend or Two.

When I lost my father 18 months ago, two Internet friends whom I’ve never met -possibly three in fact as one was anonymous- sent flowers. That meant a great deal, so I won’t summarily dismiss every virtual acquaintance out of hand. However, I would dismiss the lion’s share and Major Styles hits some major points here worth considering. I think it’s something millennials in particular should be wary of.

Edited to add: I forgot to add this video Hearth made me aware of about the decline of religion in the modern West, and why its comeback is a long shot at best. As much as it pains me, I actually agree with this man. I don’t think the Bible’s prophetic trajectory offers a lot of hope for mass genuine revival in the West or anywhere else for that matter. We are to be about reaching souls, not salvaging a culture:

Lastly, but certainly not least by any stretch, is this sermon from Voddie Baucham. In it he reminds us of something powerful about the story of Noah and the Flood and it’s this:

In the flood (an awful display of God’s wrath, quiet as that’s kept), we tend to see ourselves from the perspective of Noah and his family. Bro. Baucham wonders if it occurs to any that plenty -most even!- of the people who drowned in that terrific judgement were not murderers, drunkards, or adulteresses. They were people like you and me, living normal lives and committing “run of the mill” sins.

I love Voddie Baucham’s sermons because they offer me the opportunity to express more gratitude for God’s astonishing grace, and a nice strong vaccination against smug self-righteousness.

Y’all really should really give it a listen.   I can’t think of a better way to set our hearts aright as we prepare for the Sabbath day.

Have a great weekend!


12 thoughts on “Friday Frivolities 8 : Slow to speak edition”

  1. Couple of quick additions:

    ~Yes, I know it’s Thursday, but this is the only day for the next 7 days or so when I will 1) have time to post or 2) have time to respond in a timely manner. I deleted my wordpress app today, so… Friday is pretty well booked so I posted today. I left the post titled Friday Frivolities because I like it and didn’t want to change it.

    ~Because nothing goes without saying, let me add a caveat to the Sarah Knight TED talk. I am not advocating applying this method of thinking to family obligations (real duties, not stuff people try to guilt you into that you shouldn’t do anyway), covenant relationships, or genuine responsibilities. In fact, despite the wrong turn this could take with people looking for excuses not to do what they know they should, Sarah Knight doesn’t include family in her things you shouldn’t care about either.

    ~As I listened to the Baucham sermon I was reminded of something my daddy used to say: ‘If justice had plumbed the line in my life…” He was very cognizant of and thankful for the fact that grace and mercy caught up with him before it was too late. I decided to google the expression and see what came up. Of course, it was a twist on Scripture:

    And I will make justice the line, and righteousness the plumb line; and hail will sweep away the refuge of lies, and waters will overwhelm the shelter. Isaiah 28:17

    It’s funny how the things you heard so much they lost their punch (if they ever had an impact at all) come rushing back in with a ferocious clarity attached later on.


  2. Will catch the videos (that I haven’t seen) later.

    In re the vid you shared elsewhere… I found that it shared an idea (rather more brusquely) that I’d been getting bombarded with from all sides (including heavenward). I’ve gotten myself WAY over extended, and it’s time to pull back. Wrote about that on HHH this week.

    I do think you can make real friends on social media, because I’ve done so. It depends on the nature of the friendship – and it also needs to go further. Social media is like a meet and greet – you have to not just exchange phone numbers, but actually meet up and have lunch a few times, maybe go to the movies or something, invest some time, before you’re truly friends.

    I think most moderns don’t know how to be friends. I get “you’re the best friend I’ve ever had” a LOT by not acting like I was raised in a barn.

    Seven days? 😦 Ah well, have fun and don’t get into too much trouble….. 😀


  3. I won’t be radio silent. Just bbusier. But mainly without the app notifications on my phone, I will be less aware when comments come in or even when bloggers I read regularly put up new posts.

    Gonna force myself to only blog via computer and only log in when I have genuine downtime.

    I know I am the only one who has this issue, LOL, but hey…


  4. By the way, Hearth:

    I just edited the post to include the video you shared about the decline of religion in the west, along with some thoughts.


  5. Watched vids.

    IMO some of the crazy surrounding keeping our kids safe has to do with the shenanigans we got up to as the latch-key generation.

    More of it has to do with the culture of “blame the mom” if anything happens to your kids, doing normal kid things. Back in our day, you skateboarded off the roof – you were the dummy. Not your parents. We’ve gotten really weird as a generation, like death and accidents don’t happen as part of life. Anytime anyone gets sick or anything serious happens, it’s run in circles scream and shout – not, “Well, things happen”. Not a functional way to live, but who said our generation was functional?

    The dating vid was moderately surprising, but I think blondie dodged a bullet, because her faith sounds very nearly nonexistent. Just because he’s pretty doesn’t mean he’s all surface. Although he was a TAD Californian, IYWIM.

    Loved the waiting vid.


  6. That’s an excellent point about the shifting of blame from little Johnny for being an idiot to Mommy for not being aware enough to stop him from doing something stupid.

    The dating video…There was a lot there but the things that jumped out to us were, 1) we didn’t like that this guy was insistent that God’s woman for him was black. Not the same thing as meeting someone and having a real connection with her and she just happens to BE black.

    2) The chick either really didn’t know what an afterlife was, which is its own problem, LOL, or she tailored her answers with the idea that he probably wasn’t very religious (based on the first impression of his appearance). If the former, she’s not bright. If the latter, she’s duplicitous.

    3) My daughter found the long hair problematic, but more than that was the fact that he was pushing 30 hard and categorized his career/ambition as “performer/actor/magician”. Unless he’s David Blaine, um…no. On the other hand:

    4) We all loved his apparent depth of faith, from the fact that he discounted happiness as a life goal to the fact that he thought serving others was important and yes, the fact that he quoted Scripture.

    In the end, bottom line was that she was immediately attracted to him and he was NOT attracted to her. The rest was mostly an academic exercise.

    Yvonne Orji was good. My most quiet twin daughter was the one who shared that with me. Loved the happy ending of the young woman who won her to Christ. Love that my girls *get* where they are as young black women and what it all means in the grand scheme, and that if it takes longer it doesn’t mean that anything is 1) wrong with them, or 2) that they can’t walk in the integrity of their faith until it does.,

    That said, just like Yvonne Orji’s parents, we are praying for sooner rather than later, LOL… we don’t light candles, though.


  7. Yeah, I thought the, “there’s one woman in the world for me and she’s for sure black” was weird too. How would you know?

    Seventh Day Adventists have similar views on many aspects of faith to JW. I just thought her, “he has to believe in God” without anything else was lame.

    I would wager that the long hair is part of the modelling gig. Did you know there was an industry for romance novel covers?


  8. Fabio he ain’t….and I’m trying to figure out how someone can be an Adventist, not believe in eternal life, and be a burlesque artist. And there was just something “wrong” about the young gentleman….to be fair, maybe we’re just seeing that someone willing to have their fist date be on TV or the Internet is going to be a little different.

    Regarding the return of religion in the west, I’m thinking that while there will be a great falling away, at the same time we have a wonderful opportunity if we will only take it; to jettison a lot of our culture and go back to what God calls us to do. Same thing the Chinese church has been doing for decades, really.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Fabio he ain’t…

    LOL, Agree.

    and I’m trying to figure out how someone can be an Adventist, not believe in eternal life, and be a burlesque artist.

    Well…this is 2017 America. You can label yourself whatever you like. My take was that she was raised Adventist, still dabbles for mam and dad’s sake, and retains the label. Hence, her pretty watered down requirements of what she wanted in a mate’s religious devotion.

    I’m thinking that while there will be a great falling away, at the same time we have a wonderful opportunity if we will only take it; to jettison a lot of our culture and go back to what God calls us to do. Same thing the Chinese church has been doing for decades, really.

    And be purified by fire. Yep. That will draw some in. The question becomes, is widespread revival a realistic expectation? I’m not sure it is.


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