I recall several years ago protesting that, having survived 30 years without a cell phone, I could probably continue to do so. That lasted all of about 5 minutes.
It is easy enough to justify one’s re-evaluation of and need for a cell phone. After all, if you have kids in school all day, that’s reason enough. What if something happens while Mom is away from the house? A cell phone means the school can reach you no matter what. It’s even worth the hassle -and it doesn’t take long to realize what a hassle it is!- that others could suddenly do likewise.
Back when you paid per text, it was easy for the cell phone to be a more mobile, convenient extension of the telephone we were all most familiar with. This was a good thing because some people found the idea of typing out whole conversations on 2-inch keyboards a rather stupid and imbecilic way of communication. However, as the competition for cell customers heated up and unlimited texting came standard, it was easy to find yourself texting more and more. Those of us who are of a certain age, raised on interpersonal contact and social interaction as a regular part of life are still loathe to pretend it’s possible to have a meaningful conversation via text. Because of that our texts (well mine anyway) are largely relegated to the realm of “On my way”, “I’ll call you right back”, and “Be there in 10 minutes.” But we do text, when we never thought we would.
Enter the app, and this is where I have gotten into some real trouble, frankly. If there was one thing I never thought I’d be doing, it’s managing my life and goals via a portable electronic device (’cause I love me a hard copy list). And yet here I am, apping away..
The trip down the slippery slope was a long one, but it happened very quickly. First, like most everyone else, there were the music apps. Following that I loaded the WordPress app, because heaven forbid any one of the whole 5 people who read the drivel I pass off as profundity have their comment sit in limbo for more than 30 minutes.
When our three oldest daughters got onto instagram, I had to get that app too because two of their accounts are private and by golly, I need to see what kind of stuff they are posting on there! Of course it wasn’t long before I was posting my own pics of food and nature. That was followed by Pinterest. If you don’t *get* why Pinterest matters, nothing I say here will illuminate it for you so…
Then, there was the Fitbit app. Let me tell you about my Fitbit, which scientists say doesn’t help anyone get more fit. I can see why they say it, frankly. Lot of fat people wear fit bits and on the days when don’t run, I usually fall short of my 12,000 step goal, with one exception.
When one of your relatives, friends, fellow homeschool moms, or fellow church member send you a morning message via their app challenging you to see who can get the most steps in a single day, you get your butt in gear. You walk around the block randomly. You sweep more, you walk around the kitchen. My SIL marches in place in front of her desk at the office for an hour at a time. The Fitbit app? That sucker gets me moving, not because I getthe steps, but because I want to win dangit!
For a while, there was the Nike Run app, but it sucks eggs so I got rid of that once I learned the extent to which the Fitbit app could track my runs. Running is good, but without a goal you quickly descend into haphazard, half-hearted runs which provide no real benefit if you don’t keep pushing forward. To that end, I registered for a race next month, which of course costs money, so I want to do well. By do well I mean beat myself, and be at least 10 minutes faster than those people who pay good money to walk a 5K run. The female winners usually clock in at about 5 minutes a mile. My average is 12 minutes so “winning” for me is 11:30 a mile.
This requires I start to challenge myself more, and when you do that without drinking a sufficient amount of water, you get cramps. You have to remember to drink lots of water throughout the day, and not just at meals. I never remember to do that, but no worries. There’s an app for that. Now every 60 minutes, my phone makes a sound which resembles water pouring from a spout into a glass. This is my reminder to drink at regular intervals.
If that isn’t enough, I figured one of the best ways to be in top condition is to stop pussy footing around and get rid of the few extra pounds which I have been dropping off and picking up at regular intervals for the past 3 years. So I got one of those apps which counts the calories in the food I eat every day to make sure I don’t go over a certain number of calories before dinner’s end.
Of course, in order for this to be effective you need to have a pretty repetitive diet, which can be an issue in a foodie house where seldom is packaged food consumed. In other words, its a hassle, but I keep at it.
As I painstakingly entered the recipe for the banana nut muffins, potatoes with rainbow chard, and fried egg I made for yesterday’s Sunday brunch, it me:
This is what life looks like from the bottom of the slippery slope.